24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
First notice that the man doesn’t leave his parents to join his girlfriend or fiancée, but he leaves his parents to join his wife.
Second, the man is leaving his parents. Therefore, the man must have a way of providing for the wife.
Third, the leaving man becomes one flesh with his wife. In the Bible the phrase of “one flesh” only refers to a husband and wife. You do not become one flesh with your girlfriend or fiancée. This is called the sin of fornication. You don’t become one flesh with a man or woman who is married to someone else. This is called the sin of adultery. You don’t become one flesh with a person of the same sex. This is called the sin of homosexuality.
20 “But if the thing is true, and evidences of virginity are not found for the young woman,
21 “then they shall bring out the young woman to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her to death with stones, because she has done a disgraceful thing in Israel, to play the harlot in her father’s house. So you shall put away the evil from among you.
The above is Jewish civil law and does not apply to us directly. However, the verses do provide God’s moral principles. The idea is, if the married woman lied to her husband and was found to not be a virgin by her husband, then the woman was to be stoned to death. Again this was Jewish civil law and does not apply to our society, but the moral principle shows the woman was to be pure before her marriage.
28 “If a man finds a young woman who is a virgin, who is not betrothed, and he seizes her and lies with her, and they are found out,
29 “then the man who lay with her shall give to the young woman’s father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife because he has humbled her; he shall not be permitted to divorce her all his days.
This verse is also part of Jewish civil law and does not directly apply to us. If the two have sex before marriage and they are found out, the man is to pay the woman’s father and she shall be his wife. The verse says she shall be his wife because he has humbled or shamed her. This verse shows how premarital sex was discouraged and was considered a shame on her. It also shows the importance of marriage. Once they were found out, she was to be his wife.
16 Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come here.”
17 The woman answered and said, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You have well said, ‘I have no husband,’
18 “for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; in that you spoke truly.”
19 The woman said to Him, “Sir, I perceive that You are a prophet.
In this passage the woman at the well desires the water that will never make her thirst again. But first Jesus confronts her with her sins: her living with a man who was not her husband.
1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.
This passage teaches to live in our bodies holy and acceptably to God.
Romans 13:13 (NLT) Because we belong to the day, we must live decent lives for all to see. Don’t participate in the darkness of wild parties and drunkenness, or in sexual promiscuity and immoral living, or in quarreling and jealousy.
This verse teaches Christians lives are on display. We shall not live in sexual promiscuity which is the same as chambering, fornication, adultery, etc..
1 Corinthians 6
15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? Certainly not!
16 Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For “the two,” He says, “shall become one flesh.”
17 But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him.
18 Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.
19 Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?
20 For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.
These verses teach that we are spiritually one with God. Therefore, we should flee sexual immorality. Also sex sins are sins against our own body which is the temple of the Holy Spirit.
1 Corinthians 7
1 Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2 Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.
8 But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am;
9 but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
These verses say that it better to be married than to commit sexual immorality. Obviously this shows that sex is not intended before marriage. The verses also teach it is better to marry than to burn in lust.
31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
This entire passage about husbands and wives is summarized in verse 32. The verse teaches that marriage between a man and a woman symbolizes the relationship between Christ and the church and visa versa. Today the church is promised to Christ (2 Corinthians 11:2 (NIV) I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy. I promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him). The church is looking forward to our future marriage to Christ (Revelation 19:7 “Let us be glad and rejoice and give Him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His wife has made herself ready.”) But even now, Christ is physically separated from his bride until the day when we will be together for evermore.
I think the above verses show clearly God’s revealed will regarding shacking-up and pre-marital sex. But, what if we lovingly show our Christian friends and family these verses, and they ignore God’s will ?
First, we are to continue to love them. For even when we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Also, we are all sinners, and not one of us is sinless.
Second, the church is to discipline them. The goal of all church discipline is that the offender will repent and be restored to the fellowship of the church.
1 It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and such sexual immorality as is not even named[fn] among the Gentiles—that a man has his father’s wife!
2 And you are puffed up, and have not rather mourned, that he who has done this deed might be taken away from among you.
4 In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when you are gathered together, along with my spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ,
5 deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.
11 But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner—not even to eat with such a person.
Third, if the person truly is a believer but continues in a sin, we may warn them that God will discipline them as a Father disciplines a son.
6 For whom the LORD loves He chastens, And scourges every son whom He receives.”
7 If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten?
Fourth, the person may say he is a believer, but his deeds show that his faith is dead. We may encourage them to examine themselves to see if they be in the faith. This person may not be a true believer and may be judged by God eternally.
James 1:22 But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.
23 For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass:
17 Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone.
18 Yea, a man may say, Thou hast faith, and I have works: shew me thy faith without thy works, and I will shew thee my faith by my works.
19 Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble.
20 But wilt thou know, O vain man, that faith without works is dead?
Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
1 Corinthians 6:9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites,
10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.
11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.
8 “But the cowardly, unbelieving, abominable, murderers, sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars shall have their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death.”
What if I have already sinned? Is there still hope for me?
Yes there is still hope. You may still repent of your sin and receive forgiveness of your sins through faith in Jesus Christ. Repent, receive forgiveness, start with a clean slate, and begin walking in the Lord’s ways. When you fail, and we all do, repeat.
1 John 1
9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
7 In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace
8 which He made to abound toward us in all wisdom and prudence,
9 having made known to us the mystery of His will, according to His good pleasure which He purposed in Himself,
10 that in the dispensation of the fullness of the times He might gather together in one all things in Christ, both[fn] which are in heaven and which are on earth—in Him.
11 In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will,
12 that we who first trusted in Christ should be to the praise of His glory.
13 In Him you also trusted, after you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation; in whom also, having believed, you were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise,
14 who is the guarantee of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, to the praise of His glory.