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Genesis 2
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

This verse is also mentioned in the New Testament by The Lord Jesus and the Apostle Paul.

Mat 19:5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and will be united with his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?

Eph 5:31 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and will be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.

Notice that the man leaves his parents to become one flesh with his WIFE.  He does not leave to be one flesh with his girlfriend.  Sex with your girlfriend is the sin of fornication.

He leaves to be joined to HIS wife, not somebody else’s wife.  Sex with someone else’s wife is the sin of adultery.

He is joined to his wife, not to another man.  Sex with another man is the sin of homosexuality.

Also note that he LEAVES his father and mother…  This implies that he is able to provide for his wife after leaving his parents.  Young adults, please don’t move in with your girlfriend because it is financially easier.  By doing this you will put yourself into financial dependence with your girlfriend, and this will trap you into the sin of fornication because of financial dependence.

Romans 13:13 (NLT) Because we belong to the day, we must live decent lives for all to see. Don’t participate in the darkness of wild parties and drunkenness, or in sexual promiscuity and immoral living, or in quarreling and jealousy.

This verse teaches that Christians should live decent lives, and we should not live a life of sexual promiscuity or immoral living.  Think of the example you are showing the world by living together outside of marriage.  Think of the example you are showing the young people in your family or your church.

1 Corinthians 6
18 Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.
19 Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?
20 For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.

These verses teach that our bodies are a temple of the Holy Spirit, and we should glorify God in our bodies which He bought at a price.  That price was the cost of God’s Son dying on the cross for our sins. Therefore, we should flee sexual immorality.  Obviously, living together with your partner is not fleeing from sexual immorality.

1 Corinthians 7
1 Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2 Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.
8 But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am;
9 but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

These verses say that it better to be married than to commit sexual immorality. Obviously this shows that sex is not intended outside of marriage.
The above verses show clearly God’s revealed will regarding shacking-up and pre-marital sex.

What if we lovingly show our Christian friends and family these verses, and they ignore God’s will by continuing to live immorally?

First, we are to continue to love them with gentle confrontation.  Loving them doesn’t mean ignoring sinful behavior or condoning it.  They should humbly be challenged by friends and parents to live according to God’s Word.

Second, the church should discipline them. The goal of all church discipline is twofold – a)  to protect the flock and b) to encourage repentance and restoration.  First, the public sin is a bad example for others in the flock.  If this is not confronted, others will think this is an acceptable behavior, and the behavior will spread like yeast through a lump of dough.  Second, removing the person who is publicly sinning from the church is a loving step to bring their attention to this sin, encourage them to repent and make changes, and to restore them to fellowship with the church.

1 Corinthians 5

1 It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and such sexual immorality as is not even named among the Gentiles—that a man has his father’s wife!
2 And you are puffed up, and have not rather mourned, that he who has done this deed might be taken away from among you.
4 In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when you are gathered together, along with my spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ,
5 deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.
6 Your boasting is not good. Don’t you know that a little yeast affects the whole batch of dough?

11 But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner—not even to eat with such a person.


Third, if the person truly is a believer but continues in sin, we should gently warn them that God will discipline them as a Father disciplines a son.

Hebrews 12
6 For whom the LORD loves He chastens, And scourges every son whom He receives.”
7 If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten?


Fourth, we should encourage them to examine themselves to see if they are truly in the faith.  This person may be deceiving themselves and may not be a true believer which will result in God’s eternal judgement.  Of course, we don’t know what is going on in a person’s heart between them and God.  Possibly they are living under deep conviction during their sin, but if they examine themselves and find that they are comfortable while  living in the sin for which their Savior died, possibly their faith is a dead faith which cannot save him.

a)  Verse about self examination

  • 2 Corinthians 13:5 Put yourselves to the test to see if you are in the faith; examine yourselves! Or do you not recognize regarding yourselves that Jesus Christ is in you – unless, indeed, you fail the test!

b)  Verses about deceiving ourselves

  • James 1:22 But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.

c)  Verse about dead faith

  • James 2:26 For just as the body without the spirit is dead, so also faith without works is dead.

d)  Verses about God’s judgement for fornicators / sexually immoral

  • Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
  • 1 Corinthians 6:9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.
  • Revelation 21 8 “But the cowardly, unbelieving, abominable, murderers, sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars shall have their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death.”


What if I have already sinned? Is there still hope for me?

Yes there is still hope. You may still repent of your sin and receive forgiveness of your sins through faith in Jesus Christ. Repent means to turn from your sin and toward God.  In this case, it means move out from living together and avoid sexual immorality.  Then receive forgiveness by having faith that Jesus died, was buried, and was raised again to have victory over your sin.  The Christian life is a life of repenting, resisting, and fighting against sin yet having faith that Jesus’ death pays your debt which allows your sins to be forgiven.  If you fall into sin again, then again turn from that sin and have faith in Jesus’ death, burial, and resurrection for your forgiveness.

Luke 24:45 Then he opened their minds so they could understand the scriptures,  24:46 and said to them, “Thus it stands written that the Christ would suffer and would rise from the dead on the third day, 24:47 and repentance for the forgiveness of sins would be proclaimed in his name to all nationsbeginning from Jerusalem.

1 Corinthians 15:1 Now I want to make clear for you, brothers and sisters, the gospel that I preached to you, that you received and on which you stand, 15:2 and by which you are being saved, if you hold firmly to the message I preached to you – unless you believed in vain. 15:3 For I passed onto you as of first importance what I also received – that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures, 15:4 and that he was buried, and that he was raised on the third day according to the scriptures, 15:5 and that he appeared to Cephas, then to the twelve. 15:6 Then he appeared to more than five hundred of the brothers and sisters at one time, most of whom are still alive,  though some have fallen asleep.  15:7 Then he appeared to James, then to all the apostles. 15:8 Last of all, as though to one born at the wrong time, he appeared to me also.


God bless. Bob